The Confessions of Georgia Nicolson: Book 1
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Description
Angus: I should have guessed all was not entirely well in the cat department when I picked him up and he began savaging my cardigan. Thongs: What is the point of them? They just go up your bum, as far as I can tell. Full-Frontal Snogging: Kissing with all the trimmings, lip to lip,... read more
Ridiculously Simplified Synopsis
Summary
Georgia Nicholson just wants to be like an average british teen, but that might be impossible when you have loon parents, a sister who is most likely mad, and a cat the size of a German Shepard! But then, when everything seems like it can't get anymore complicated, the Sex God shows up,... read more (warning: may contain spoilers)
Cast of Characters/Important People
- Georgia Nicholson: Our fabitty-fab-fab main character, she is the leader of the Ace Gang, she goes to Stallag 14 in England, and she is totally in LURRVVEE with Robbie, the Sex God.
- Mum (Muti): Georgia's and Libby's mother
- Dad (Vati): Georgia's and Libby's father
- Libby (Liberty): Georgia's somewhat mad 3 year old sister, she lobes her sister, and she and her fwends love sleeping in "Gingee's" bed.
- Robbie a.k.a. Sex God: the lead singer of the band "the Stiff Dylans". He is presently Wet Lindsey's BF, but Georgia is determined to land him in her airport.
- Jas: Georgia's dim best friend, she is in love with Tom, the Sex God's younger brother. He works at his parents grocery. 2nd member of the ace gang.
- Angus: Georgia's Scottish WILD cat. He terrorizes the neighborhood, and harrasess the next door prat poodles.
- Rosie (RoRo): Georgia's bff who is in love with Sven an exchange student from Scandinavia.
- Sven: Rosie's strange boyfriend from Scandanavia.
- Mark Big Gob: A big mouthed perv that touches Georgia's basooma and then has the nerve to break up with HER!!!
- Uncle Eddie: Dad's baldy, somewhat mad, brother that comes over and drinks with Georgia's parents and then sings loon songs.
- Ms. Heaton (Hawkeye): Georgia's blodge teacher.
- Slim: the headmistress of Stallag 14, she is so huge that when she is mad she goes jelloid.
- Miss Stamp: part- time lesbian, part-time gym teacher, part-time french teacher
- Miss Wilson: the R.E. teacher who is too scared to confront the girls in class when they are doing manicures.
- Jools: 3rd member of the ace gang
- Ellen: 4th and last member of the ace gang
- Alison Peters (Bummer Twin part One): One of the two girls who are "the Bummer Twins" they torment Georgia and the other girls at Stallag 14, especially Nauseating P. Green. They are smokers and they get in trouble A LOT.
- Jackie Mattews (Other Bummer): Alison's accomplice at Stallag 14. Does everything with Alison.
- Nauseating Pamela Green: A hamster obsessed girl who is practically a walking target for the Bummer Twins. She is chunky and a geek.
- Wet Lindsay: Georgia's absolute enemy, she is a prefect, the Capt. of the Hockey team, and most importantly, the current girlfriend of the Sex God, according to Georgia, SHE MUST DIE!!! She has no forehead, and stick insect legs. Plus she has fake boobs and wears a thong. Erlack.
- Peter Dyer (Whelk Boy): Georgia's first boy-toy, and her instructer (only for short time) in snogging.
- Herr Kamyer: Georgia's pathetic German teacher who wears matching socks and ties. ooer.
- Mr. Attwood (Elvis): The mad caretaker of Stalag 14, who blames the world for his problems and goes ballisticamus when he sees the ace gang.
Memorable Quotes
-
“"Looking through the old family albums. I'm not surprised I'm ugly. The photos of Dad as a child are terrifying. His Nose is huge-it takes up half of his face. In fact, he is literally just a nose with arms and legs attached."”
Georgia -
“"The only nice person here is Libby. She is stroking where my eyebrows used to be and then she went off and brought me a lump of cheese. Great. I have become ratwoman."”
Georgia -
“"I've been Sellotaping my fringe to make it longer and straighter and to cover up the space where my eyebrows were. Jas said, 'It makes you look like you've escaped from the funny lad's home.'"”
Georgia/Jas -
“"What a long boring day. I hate Sundays; they are deliberatley invented by people who have no life and no friends."”
Georgia -
“"Then as I opened the books, she took my duvet cover and blew her nose on it. It's absolutely covered in green snot. Who would have thought such a tiny girl could produce a bucket of snot?"”
Georgia about Libby -
“"Slim shook herself. It was sort of a habit that she had when she was irritated with us (i.e., all the time). It made her look like a jelly with shoes on."”
Georgia -
“"If I miss this party because of Miss Stamp, SHE WILL DIE."”
Georgia
First Sentence
Dad had Uncle Eddie round, so naturally they had to come and see what I was up to.
Table of Contents
August~la marche avec mystery
September~Operation Sausage
October~tainted love
November~a bit of rough
December~the stiff dylans gig
January~exploding kinckers
February~jas must die
March~my dad has become rolf harris
April~the snogging report
May~i use it to keep my balls still
June~pajama party
July~ the sex god has landed
GEORGIA'S GLOSSARY!!
Series
This is book 1 in the The Confessions of Georgia Nicolson series.
Authors & Contributors
- Louise Rennison (Author)
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