Schiller's gripping, heart-rending and ultimately triumphant story of her journey into madness and back to reality is told through the voices of Lori and her family, friends and doctor, and captures a rare, astoundingly vivid view into the inner life of a schizophrenic. "A stunning story of... read more
“I tried to understand about the Voices. For years in therapy, Dr. Rockland had told me that the Voices were a part of me, stuff buried deep inside coming out in another, strange way. I had learned to say that when I was asked, but I never really believed it. This time around, I tried hard to understand what my doctors meant when they said the Voices weren't real.When I heard Voices shouting at me to castrate a male staff member, Dr. Fischer and Dr. Doller explained, there weren't really voices that other people could hear. It was just my own hostile thoughts getting blown up out of proportion inside my brain.I listened. I thought about it. No way, I thought at first. I don't have horrible thoughts like that. Those thoughts aren't me. It's those Voices who are the crazy demons, not me. Besides, the Voices were so clear, so real, and so vivid. It seemed impossible to me that they were simply figments of my own imaginations.”
People with schizophrenia are locked out of the outside world, and locked inside their heads with nothing but these wild, out-of-control thoughts banging about inside. For what has also broken is the brain's ability to process emotion and thoughts. In people with schizophrenia the normal emotions—that we all every day categorize, process and either accept into our consciousness or push back into the recesses of our minds—run amok. Emotions that would normally be comfortably catalogued as unacceptable take on a life of their own as voices that seem more real than the real world outside.Highlighted by 23 Kindle customers
People with schizophrenia are filled with an essential longing. They have a longing to explain what is happening to themselves. And they have a longing for a connection, for some relationship that will give them a pathway back toward the world they have lost.Highlighted by 20 Kindle customers
Because they have difficulty distinguishing what is “me” from what is “not me,” anyone who comes too close threatens the very core of their beings. They run from the love and care of their family; they distance themselves from the rest of the world. It isn't unusual to find people with schizophrenia who have almost no romantic or sexual experience. If your ego is a fragile thing, and you are afraid of being disrupted, or being invaded, then the idea of an intimate relationship is very frightening.Highlighted by 16 Kindle customers
Schizophrenia wasn't a split personality. It was a brain disease, a chemical imbalance.Highlighted by 14 Kindle customers
What is there in any human being's experience to prepare him or her to cope with a broken brain? Who can understand what a catastrophe this break is for the human soul? For the thing that has broken is the person's ability to relate to another person. The thing that breaks is whatever it is that connects people to their environment, that allows them to recognize another person as someone outside of themselves.Highlighted by 12 Kindle customers
Two Accounts of a Journey Through Madness, intrigued me with its description of a patient's attempts to understand her own illness.Highlighted by 11 Kindle customers
The problem was, as I let the Voices gain power over me, I lost all power of my own. I started out not wanting to control myself, and ended up not being able to. Impulse became action.Highlighted by 8 Kindle customers
“Because of the combination of her severe mood swings and her hallucinations we think that Lori has something we call schizo-affective disorder.” “Schizo-affective disorder?” Marvin sounded incredulous. “What's that?” “It's a combination of things. She's got some symptoms of manic-depression, and some symptoms of schizophrenia.”Highlighted by 8 Kindle customers
At first I thought I was being tricked. Everyone was simply pretending not to hear the Voices. I didn't know why they were pretending like that but it made me paranoid and suspicious of them. What other things were they plotting against me?Highlighted by 6 Kindle customers
I saw the job of the long-term unit as teaching her to recognize her symptoms as phenomena, and to seek help immediately from those around her before they became too much for her to bear.Highlighted by 6 Kindle customers
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