The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate
 

The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate

by Gary Chapman

Unhappiness in marriage often has a simple root cause: we speak different love languages, believes Dr. Gary Chapman. While working as a marriage counselor for more than 30 years, he identified five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. In a friendly, often humorous style, he unpacks each one. Some husbands or wives may crave... (read more)

Top tags: relationshipsmarriagelovecommunicationnon-fiction (all tags)

 

Member Reviews

  • Timothy Gray
    1 of 1 members found this review helpful.
    • Rated 4 stars

    An amazingly insightful book... it should be required reading for newlyweds, parents and teachers.

    The fact is that when you try to show someone that you love them, you're probably expressing your love using your own love "language". What if you're trying to communicate with someone who has a different love language - there's an eighty percent chance of getting it wrong and they'll never hear you. This book will help you understand the other love languages, and how to express your love more effectively.

    Timothy Gray wrote this review Friday, June 8 2007. ( reply | permalink )
  • Paddy G
    • Rated 3 stars

    It's a useful perspective - Whist i was reading it, I thought the idea of "boxing" everyone into 5 styles of love-language was too simplistic. But after finishing the book I finally realised that 2 of those boxes actually do describe me far more than I suspected. Also useful to relate to those nearest & dearest better, including your children

    Paddy G wrote this review 3 weeks ago. ( reply | permalink )
  • Jeanette B
    • Rated 4 stars

    Very good in showing you how to figure out what people's love language is so you can meet their needs.

    Jeanette B wrote this review 3 weeks ago. ( reply | permalink )
  • Nick P
    • Rated 3 stars

    Chapman theorizes that people give and receive love in 5 primary types of ways (or languages). 1) Physical touch, 2) Words of Affirmation, 3) Gifts, 4) Quality Time, 5) and Acts of Service. He concludes that people often speak different love languages. Thus, while one person might think they are acting very lovingly towards another, the other person can't understand their language and so they don't receive the love.

    It's actually a pretty good read. I've concluded that my languages are Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch. It can be a fun conversation starter, even if people haven't read the book. I do think you can take a bit too far and get way into how your love language needs are not being met and all that, but it's worth thinking about.

    His uses of Bible verses seemed like a lame attempt to back up and support his claims, so that Christians would buy and promote his book. For example, he uses the passage where people brought children to be touched by Jesus as an example of physical touch. I highly doubt that was the intention the author had in mind. It's always good to be able to back this stuff up with scripture, but I don't really think you can. So take it or leave it.

    Nick P wrote this review 3 weeks ago. ( reply | permalink )
  • Robbin Hart
    • Rated 4 stars

    We crave what we express most to other people.

    Gary unpacks these cravings into five categories that help us understand ourselves better, but more importantly - our spouse!

    ...a very good read.

    Robbin Hart wrote this review 3 weeks ago. ( reply | permalink )
  • Michael S
    • Rated 4 stars

    Really great advice. The theological stuff is kept to a minimum, making this a much easier recommendation for anyone getting married, already married, etc. Definitely useful for Lutheran pastors.

    Michael S wrote this review 3 weeks ago. ( reply | permalink )
  • e
    • Rated 4 stars

    this book is absolutely a quality book. recommend reading this book in a heartbeat.

    e wrote this review Monday, September 8 2008. ( reply | permalink )
  • Lauren P
    • Rated 5 stars

    Great way to reconnect with your spouse! For anyone whose spouse doesn't think you love him/her any more. It could be that you're expressing the kind of "language" YOU would prefer, and not what he/she would best respond to. Gives you new options -- other than anger and frustration ... or in the worse case scenario, divorce.

    Lauren P wrote this review Tuesday, September 2 2008. ( reply | permalink )
  • Fidjiti
    • Rated 5 stars

    This book totally explains how you need to be told you're loved in a different way than how your husband would want to be told he is loved. (Note, I didn't read the WHOLE book, just some parts. Which i thought was okay to do with this book.)

    Fidjiti wrote this review Friday, August 29 2008. ( reply | permalink )
  • Jonny Quest
    • Rated 5 stars

    This is one of the very few books that I think every single person should read. It speaks to the challenge for individuals to love and to seek out their mate's style of being loved. I find that it's easy to transfer the basic principles into different types of relationships, which yields the ability to take care of, appreciate, and show love to the many people in my life -- which as a Christian is something I'm striving to do.

    Jonny Quest wrote this review Monday, August 25 2008. ( reply | permalink )
Displaying 1-10 of 174 reviews
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