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Description edit
Lily is haunted by memories–of who she once was, and of a person, long gone, who defined her existence. She has nothing but time now, as she recounts the tale of Snow Flower, and asks the gods for forgiveness.
In nineteenth-century China, when wives and daughters were foot-bound and... read more
Ridiculously Simplified Synopsis edit
Summary edit
In nineteenth-century China, in a remote Hunan county, a girl named Lily, at the tender age of seven, is paired with a laotong, “old same,” in an emotional match that will last a lifetime. The laotong, Snow Flower, introduces herself by sending Lily a silk fan on which she’s painted a poem in... read more (warning: may contain spoilers)
Characters/People edit
- Lily: The narrator. Born in a poor farmer's family, but marries into a rich family. She is grounded by rules and conventions.
- Snow Flower: Lily's laotong, who is from a wealthy family and well versed in nu shu, later marries into a much poorer family. She is detached from conventional life, always seeking ways to rise above and escape from the daily chores of life.
- Beautiful Moon: Lily's cousin
- Madame Wang: A Matchmaker, not only for husbands and wives but also for laotong relationships.Acts as a go between for Lily and Snow Flower. Also Snow Flower's Aunt.
- Mama: Lily's mother whose feet were bound poorly, after Grandma dies she becomes the highest ranked woman in the family.
- Madame Gao: Gaudy and coarse matchmaker in Lily's village.
- Lady Lu: Lily's mother-in-law; ultimately, this is Lily's title.
- Baba: Lily's father.
- Spring Moon: Snow Flower's Daughter
- Willow: A sworn sister.
- Plum Blossom: A sworn sister.
- Lotus: A sworn sister.
- Elder sister: Lily's older sister.
Quotes edit
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“A lovely face is a gift from heaven, but tiny feet can improve social standing”
Madame Wang -
“You go to another village. Your mother-in-law is cruel. Your husband doesn’t care for you. We wish you would never leave, but every daughter marries away. Everyone agrees. Everyone goes along with it. You can cry and beg to come home, we can grieve that you have gone, but you—and we—have no choice. The old saying makes this very clear: ‘If a daughter doesn’t marry out, she’s not valuable; if fire doesn’t raze the mountain, the land will not be fertile.’”
Lily's mother -
“Raising a girl and marrying her off is like building a fancy road for others to use.”
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“Only through pain will you have beauty. Only through suffering will you have peace.”
Lily's mother -
“For my entire life I longed for love. I knew it was not right for me-as a girl and later as a woman-to want or expect it, but I did, and this unjustifed desire has been at the root of every problem I have experienced in my life.”
- Popular Highlights from Kindle Customers
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You may be desperate, but never let anyone see you as anything less than a cultivated woman.
Highlighted by 196 Kindle customers -
There is no life without death. This is the true meaning of yin and yang.
Highlighted by 168 Kindle customers -
The first was the Three Obediences: “When a girl, obey your father; when a wife, obey your husband; when a widow, obey your son.” The second was the Four Virtues, which delineate women’s behavior, speech, carriage, and occupation: “Be chaste and yielding, calm and upright in attitude; be quiet and agreeable in words; be restrained and exquisite in movement; be perfect in handiwork and embroidery.”
Highlighted by 163 Kindle customers -
Anyone who says that women do not have influence in men’s decisions makes a vast and stupid mistake.
Highlighted by 149 Kindle customers -
Sons are the foundation of a woman’s self. They give a woman her identity, as well as dignity, protection, and economic value.
Highlighted by 147 Kindle customers -
“A laotong relationship is made by choice for the purpose of emotional companionship and eternal fidelity. A marriage is not made by choice and has only one purpose—to have sons.”
Highlighted by 133 Kindle customers -
For my entire life I longed for love. I knew it was not right for me—as a girl and later as a woman—to want or expect it, but I did, and this unjustified desire has been at the root of every problem I have experienced in my life.
Highlighted by 125 Kindle customers -
“Only through pain will you have beauty. Only through suffering will you find peace. I wrap, I bind, but you will have the reward.”
Highlighted by 124 Kindle customers -
Foot size would determine how marriageable I was. My small feet would be offered as proof to my prospective in-laws of my personal discipline and my ability to endure the pain of childbirth, as well as whatever misfortunes might lie ahead. My small feet would show the world my obedience to my natal family, particularly to my mother, which would also make a good impression on my future mother-in-law.
Highlighted by 100 Kindle customers -
In this way, she taught me how to endure—not just the physical trials of footbinding and childbearing but the more torturous pain of the heart, mind, and soul. She was also pointing out my defects and teaching me how to use them to my benefit. In our country, we call this type of mother love teng ai. My son has told me that in men’s writing it is composed of two characters. The first means pain; the second means love. That is a mother’s love.
Highlighted by 86 Kindle customers
First Sentence edit
I am what they call in our village 'one who has not yet died' - a widow, eighty years old.
Table of Contents edit
Introduction: Sitting Quietly
Part One: Daughter Days
1. Milk Years
2. Footbinding
3. The Fan
4. Snow Flower
5. Love
6. Learning
Part Two: Hair-Pinning Days
1. Catching Cool Breezes
2. Beautiful Moon
3. The Flower-Sitting Chair
4. Truth
5. The Temple of Gupo
Part Three: Rice-and-Salt Days
1. Sons
2. Joy and Sorrow
3. Into the Mountains
4. Winter
5. Letter of Vituperation
6. Into the Clouds
Part Four: Sitting Quietly
1. Regret
Author's Notes and Acknowledgements
About the Author
Glossary edit
- laotong: "Old sames" - referring to a deep friendship between two girls, which is instigated by the mothers and matchmakers. These girls will be friends for life.
- nu shu: A secret written phonetic code used amongst women in ancient China.
- teng ai: a mother loves by way of painful things; teng means pain and ai means love
- fung shui: is an ancient Chinese system of aesthetics believed to use the laws of both Heaven (astronomy) and Earth (geography) to help one improve life by receiving positive; has to do with the position of things such as buildings
- congee: rice porridge
Series & Lists edit
This book is in KCPL Discussion Kit (Aug2010). (community list)
First Edition edit
Original Language: English
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Country: USA
Publication Date: 2006-02-21
ISBN: 9780812968064
Page Count: 288
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Country: USA
Publication Date: 2006-02-21
ISBN: 9780812968064
Page Count: 288
Awards edit
- Southern California Booksellers Association Award (2005: Best Novel)
- Book Sense Honor Book (2006: Adult Fiction)
- Asian/Pacific American Award for Literature (Finalist, 2006: Adult Fiction, Honorable Mention)
Classification edit
- Library of Congress: PS3569.E3334 S66
- Dewey: 813.54
Subjects edit
- Books › Literature & Fiction › World Literature › United States › Asian American
- Books › Mystery & Thrillers › Thrillers › Psychological & Suspense
- Books › Literature & Fiction › Women's Fiction › Friendship
- Books › Literature & Fiction › Genre Fiction › Historical
- Books › Literature & Fiction › Contemporary
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