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Lily is haunted by memories–of who she once was, and of a person, long gone, who defined her existence. She has nothing but time now, as she recounts the tale of Snow Flower, and asks the gods for forgiveness.

In nineteenth-century China, when wives and daughters were foot-bound and... read more

Summary edit see section history

In nineteenth-century China, in a remote Hunan county, a girl named Lily, at the tender age of seven, is paired with a laotong, “old same,” in an emotional match that will last a lifetime. The laotong, Snow Flower, introduces herself by sending Lily a silk fan on which she’s painted a poem in... read more (warning: may contain spoilers)

In nineteenth-century China, in a remote Hunan county, a girl named Lily, at the tender age of seven, is paired with a laotong, “old same,” in an emotional match that will last a lifetime. The laotong, Snow Flower, introduces herself by sending Lily a silk fan on which she’s painted a poem in nu shu, a unique language that Chinese women created in order to communicate in secret, away from the influence of men. As the years pass, Lily and Snow Flower send messages on fans, compose stories on handkerchiefs, reaching out of isolation to share their hopes, dreams, and accomplishments. Together, they endure the agony of foot-binding, and reflect upon their arranged marriages, shared loneliness, and the joys and tragedies of motherhood. The two find solace, developing a bond that keeps their spirits alive. But when a misunderstanding arises, their deep friendship suddenly threatens to tear apart.

Characters/People edit see section history

  • Miss Lily: The narrator. Born in a poor farmer's family, but marries into a rich family. She is grounded by rules and conventions.A sworn sister, laotong to Snow Flower. As a young girl she is contracted as a special friend to Snow Flower for life. She tells their friendship story which spans a lifetime. She is both loving and caring but due to unforseen circumstances their lives take very different turns.Lilly tells the story of her life in China long ago and the special relationship called 'laotong' with Snow Flower. Through a series of unfortunate events their lives become very different. Lilly Is the daughter of a poor farmer. She has the good fortune of having a successful foot binding resulting in Lilly feet. This leads her to have the good fortune of moving up in life. She has a good match with a wealthy family.
  • Snow Flower: Lily's laotong, who is from an educated family and well versed in nu shu.
  • Beautiful Moon: Lily's cousin. A beautiful sweet girl who is friends with Lilly.
  • Mama: Lily's mother whose feet were bound poorly, after Grandma (her husband's mother) dies she becomes the highest ranked woman in the family. She is a hard woman, shown to be cunning and scheming to raise her family's place in society. She very rarely gives Lilly the love that she craves.
  • Madame Wang: The matchmaker from Snow Flower's village (Tongkou) . She not only forms marriage matches, but also matches the two Old Sames, Lily and Snow Flower.
  • Lady Lu: Lily's mother-in-law; ultimately, this is Lily's title.
  • Baba: Lily's father. A poor, hard-working farmer who does his best to support his family. He is sensitive to his daughter's need for love and often pulls her on his lap. This, however, changes after Madame Wang's visit.
  • Spring Moon: Snow Flower's daughter.
  • Lotus: A sworn sister(along with Willow and Plum Blossom).
  • Madame Gao: Matchmaker from Lily's village.
  • Elder Sister: Lily's older sister. She shows compassion and support to Lilly and Beautiful Moon during their foot binding. She is also the one who discovered third sister's infection.
  • Peony: Snow Flower's granddaughter.
  • Willow: A sworn sister (along with Lotus and Plum Blossom).
  • Master Lu: Head of household of the Lu family; Lily's husband's father, then her husband.
  • Uncle Lu: Lily's husband's brother; he is a scholar and well-respected man in their village.
  • Old Man Zuo: Vendor who served burnt sugar taro to the old sames at the Temple of Gupo.
  • Xianfeng: New emperor who tried to continue feudalistic society; son of the deceased Emperor Daoguang.
  • Lu Hsün: Add a description of this character.
  • Hu Yuxiu: Character in a women's story who purportedly invented nu shu to communicate with her natal family.
  • Yonggang: Lily's servant girl in the Lu household.
  • Diviner Hu: Chinese healer.
  • Jade: Lily's only daughter.
  • Guanyin: The goddess who hears all women's tears.
  • Grandmother: Lily's father's mother.
  • Auntie Wang: Snow Flower's mother's sister.
  • Third Sister: Lily's youngest sister who fought the hardest against foot binding.
  • Tan Ze
  • Madame Tan
  • Chen Yi Zhong
  • Daoguang
  • Panhu
  • Hu Yuxiu
Show all 32 characters
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Quotes edit see section history

  • “A lovely face is a gift from heaven, but tiny feet can improve social standing”
    Madame Wang
  • “You go to another village. Your mother-in-law is cruel. Your husband doesn’t care for you. We wish you would never leave, but every daughter marries away. Everyone agrees. Everyone goes along with it. You can cry and beg to come home, we can grieve that you have gone, but you—and we—have no choice. The old saying makes this very clear: ‘If a daughter doesn’t marry out, she’s not valuable; if fire doesn’t raze the mountain, the land will not be fertile.’”
    Lily's mother
  • “Raising a girl and marrying her off is like building a fancy road for others to use.”
  • “Only through pain will you have beauty. Only through suffering will you have peace.”
    Lily's mother
  • “For my entire life I longed for love. I knew it was not right for me-as a girl and later as a woman-to want or expect it, but I did, and this unjustifed desire has been at the root of every problem I have experienced in my life.”
  • Popular Highlights from Kindle Customers
  • You may be desperate, but never let anyone see you as anything less than a cultivated woman.
    Highlighted by 196 Kindle customers
  • There is no life without death. This is the true meaning of yin and yang.
    Highlighted by 168 Kindle customers
  • The first was the Three Obediences: “When a girl, obey your father; when a wife, obey your husband; when a widow, obey your son.” The second was the Four Virtues, which delineate women’s behavior, speech, carriage, and occupation: “Be chaste and yielding, calm and upright in attitude; be quiet and agreeable in words; be restrained and exquisite in movement; be perfect in handiwork and embroidery.”
    Highlighted by 163 Kindle customers
  • Anyone who says that women do not have influence in men’s decisions makes a vast and stupid mistake.
    Highlighted by 149 Kindle customers
  • Sons are the foundation of a woman’s self. They give a woman her identity, as well as dignity, protection, and economic value.
    Highlighted by 147 Kindle customers
  • “A laotong relationship is made by choice for the purpose of emotional companionship and eternal fidelity. A marriage is not made by choice and has only one purpose—to have sons.”
    Highlighted by 133 Kindle customers
  • For my entire life I longed for love. I knew it was not right for me—as a girl and later as a woman—to want or expect it, but I did, and this unjustified desire has been at the root of every problem I have experienced in my life.
    Highlighted by 125 Kindle customers
  • “Only through pain will you have beauty. Only through suffering will you find peace. I wrap, I bind, but you will have the reward.”
    Highlighted by 124 Kindle customers
  • Foot size would determine how marriageable I was. My small feet would be offered as proof to my prospective in-laws of my personal discipline and my ability to endure the pain of childbirth, as well as whatever misfortunes might lie ahead. My small feet would show the world my obedience to my natal family, particularly to my mother, which would also make a good impression on my future mother-in-law.
    Highlighted by 100 Kindle customers
  • In this way, she taught me how to endure—not just the physical trials of footbinding and childbearing but the more torturous pain of the heart, mind, and soul. She was also pointing out my defects and teaching me how to use them to my benefit. In our country, we call this type of mother love teng ai. My son has told me that in men’s writing it is composed of two characters. The first means pain; the second means love. That is a mother’s love.
    Highlighted by 86 Kindle customers
Show all 15 quotes from this book

Setting & Locations edit see section history

Mid-19th century China

First Sentence edit see section history

I am what they call in our village 'one who has not yet died' - a widow, eighty years old.

Table of Contents edit see section history

Introduction: Sitting Quietly

Part One: Daughter Days
1. Milk Years
2. Footbinding
3. The Fan
4. Snow Flower
5. Love
6. Learning

Part Two: Hair-Pinning Days
1. Catching Cool Breezes
2. Beautiful Moon
3. The Flower-Sitting Chair
4. Truth
5. The Temple of Gupo

Part Three: Rice-and-Salt Days
1. Sons
2. Joy and Sorrow
3. Into the Mountains
4. Winter
5. Letter of Vituperation
6. Into the Clouds

Part Four: Sitting Quietly
1. Regret

Author's Notes and Acknowledgements

About the Author

Glossary edit see section history

  • laotong: "Old sames" - referring to a deep friendship between two girls, which is instigated by the mothers and matchmakers. These girls will be friends for life.
  • nu shu: A secret written phonetic code used amongst women in ancient China.
  • teng ai: a mother loves by way of painful things; teng means pain and ai means love
  • fung shui: is an ancient Chinese system of aesthetics believed to use the laws of both Heaven (astronomy) and Earth (geography) to help one improve life by receiving positive; has to do with the position of things such as buildings
  • congee: rice porridge

Series & Lists edit see section history

This book is in KCPL Discussion Kit (Aug2010). (community list)

Authors & Contributors edit see section history

  1. Lisa See (Author)

First Edition edit see section history

Original Language: English
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Country: USA
Publication Date: 2005
ISBN: 9781400060283
Page Count: 258

Awards edit see section history

Classification edit see section history

  • Library of Congress: PS3569.E3334 S66
  • Dewey: 813.54

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