Twelve Sharp (2006) (edit title/settings)

Ridiculously Simplified Synopsis edit

Write a ridiculously simplified synopsis.

Summary edit see section history

Characters edit see section history

• Stephanie Plum: Bounty Hunter working for Vinnie Plum and heroine of the novels. Not the greatest in the world, admits that a lot of her captures are more due to luck than anything else. Lives with her hamster Rex. Has an on again off again relationship with Joe Morelli. Describes herself as being 5'7, having blue eyes and curly brown hair. Is infamous for destroying cars, and not always her car either. Described as the Bounty Hunter from Hell by cops.
• Joe Morelli: Trenton PD vice cop and Stephanie's on again off again boyfriend. Has a Ducati and later on a big orange dog named Bob. Described as being 6 feet of hard lean Italian muscle with dark hair and dark eyes and in the words of Stephanie "Yum". Would like to marry Stephanie, on the provision that she quit being a bounty hunter. Calls Stephanie Cupcake.
• Ranger: Bounty Hunter who works for Vinnie, and also owner of his own security consulting firm in later novels. And also later a romantic interest for Stephanie. Formerly Special Forces. Two months older than Stephanie and described as being 6 feet or a few inches under or over. Cuban American with skin the color of a mocha latte, dark hair and dark eyes, always dresses in black, very muscular with no extra fat on him and also Yum. Say he loves Stephanie in his own way. Always drives very expensive black cars. Full name is Ricardo Carlos Manoso. Got the nickname Ranger in Special Forces. Calls Stephanie Babe.
• Vincent "Vinnie" Plum: Owner of Vincent Plum Bail Bonds. Stephanie black mails him into giving her a job. He's Stephanie cousin. Said to have had a romantic relationship with a duck at one time. Described as looking like a weasel.
• Lula: File clerk for Vinnie Plum, though how much filing she does is pretty debatable. Used to be a Hooker and still dresses like it. Is described as being short, plus size with a propensity for spandex. Has a talent for jamming her size sixteen body into size ten clothes. Changes her hair color on a regular basis.
• Connie Rosolli: She is Vinnie's Office Manager and junkyark dog. She's a little older, a little smarter, a little tougher, and a little more Italian than Stephanie. Wears her hair big and her lipstick red.
• Grandma Mazur: Stephanie's feisty grandmother. This book she is determined to become a singer with Lula.
• Joyce Barnhardt: Stephanie's arch enemy. This started back in grade school when Joyce threw Stephanie's Crayons in the toilet. Most known for being the cause of Stephanie's divorce. Only reason why she has a job is that she's willing to do strange things in Vinny's office. Likes to look the part of a bounty hunter in black leather and ammo belts.
• Lonnie Johnson: One of Vinny's skips that Stephanie and Lula go after. Suspected of armed robbery.
• Carmen Manoso: This woman is stalking Stephanie. She claims to be Ranger's wife. Waits outside the bail office for Stephanie to leave.
• Bob: Morelli's dog. In theory he is a golden retriever, but his gene pool is questionable. He is big, orange, and fluffy. He loves everybody, and he eats everything.
• Edward Scrog: He is a Ranger wannabe. Is trying to take over Ranger's life, i.e. kidnapping his daughter, "marrying" Stephanie. A nutjob.
• Sally Sweet: Stephanie's crossing friend. Is in a band called What with Lula and even Grandma Mazur. Was alerie's wedding planner and has played in a series of bands.
• Mary Lee Turk: One of Vinny's skips. She had inserted a carving knife into her husband's left buttock during a domestic disturbance. Going through The Change.
• Melvin Pickle: One of Vinny's skips. He was caught with his pants down in the third row of the multiplex. He works at a shoe store in the mall, only to be the filing clerk for Vinny. A self-described "perv" because he "whacked off" in the multiplex.
• Leon James: One of Vinny's skips suspected of arson and attempted murder.
• Luis Queen: One of Vinny's skips wanted for solicitation. Likes to sleep in late.
• Caroline Scarzolli: One of Vinny's skips. She's a low-bond shoplifter. First-time offender. Works in a lingerie and gadget shop. Older, but up to date on sexual mechanics.
• Julie Martine: Ranger's daughter. Kidnapped. Apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Very intuitive and a good aim.
• Eddie Gazarra: Police officer and friend of Stephanie Plum's
• Mrs. Bestler: Lives in Stephanie's building, operates elevator.
• Rex: Stephanie's hamster
• Chuck: Julie's name for Scrog
• Lucille: Add a description of this character.
• Marjorie Lando
• Ella
• Dave Nelson
• Ronald Martine
• Mr. Stanko
• Meri Maisonet
• Catherine Machenko
• Martin Dorn
• Anton Rudder
• Mary Lou Molnar: Stephanie's best friend in school
• John Nash
• Tank: One of Ranger's men.
• Manuel
• Mary Lee Truk
• Willie Reese
• Rachel Martine
• Charles Chin
• Gail Mangianni
• Dorothy
• Oswald
• Silvio
• Lorraine Shlein
• Dooby Biagi
• Ricardo Carlos Manoso
• Valerie: Stephanie's sister
• Becky Willard
• Constantine Stiva: Owner of the funeral home that Stephanie burnt down earlier
• Hal
• Bernard Brown
• Brendan Yalenowski

Quotes edit see section history

• “When I was twelve years old I accidentally substituted salt for sugar in a cake recipe. I baked the cake, iced the cake, and served it up. It looked like a cake, but as soon as you cut into it and took a taste, you knew something else was going on. People are like that, too. Sometimes you just can't tell what's on the inside from looking at the outside. Sometimes people are a big surprise, just like the salt cake. Sometimes the surprise turns out to be good And sometimes the surprise turns out to be bad. And sometimes the surprise is just friggin' confusing.”

  Stephanie Plum

• “That's harsh, and I don't think we're completely incompetent. I think we're closer to eighty percent incompetent.”

  Lula

• “The story is that she asked him if he thought she was putting on weight, and he said yes, and then she stabbed him. it was one of the spontaneous acts. Mary Lee's going though the change, and everyone knows you don't just up and tell a menopausal woman she's getting fat. I swear some men have no brains at all.”

  Grandma Mazur

• “I tell you those homosexuals are all over the place, and they get all the good jobs, too. They get to be cowboys and morticians. I never wanted to be a homosexual, but I always wanted to be a cowboy.”

  Grandma Mazur

• “I can always count on you to brighten my day.”

  Ranger

• “I tell you, he's a hunk of burning love. He's a sex bomb. He's a big ol' honey bear.”

  Lula

• “Wait a minute" my grandmother yelled. "I live here too. And this here's an important moment in my life. And you know how old I am...I might not have many more moments left" Clearly that statement represented the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow for my father.”

  Stephanie Plum

• “Maybe you should go to the lodge," I said to my father, "I thought Thursday was pinochle night." "It's always pinochle night at the lodge. I wanted to see the ball game tonight." "Don't they have television at the lodge?" "Yeah, they got one in the bar." He looked at his coffee and cookies. "I'm not done eating" "A bag!" I said to my mother. "For God's sake, put his cookies in a bag." "I have to get changed" Sally said, going upstairs, "I'll only be a minute." "Hurry!" I shouted to my mother. "What's holding up that bag?" The bass player started tuning, adjusting the volume on the amp. The first sound that came out was Wanggggggg! "Holy crap" my father said, "what in the beejeezus was that?"”

  Stephanie Plum

• “Okay," Lula shouted from the top of the stairs, "don't anybody look. Everybody close their eyes until we get into position." "I'm not closing my eyes," my father said. "The Italian Stallion here will eat my cookies." The drummer beat out a couple of heart-thumping bars, the bass and keyboard came on a deafening level, and the dining room chandelier jiggled and swayed on it's chain. Plates danced across the dining room table. A half-eaten cookie fell our of my father's mouth. And Bob tipped back his head and howled. My mother ran in from the kitchen with a bag, but it was too late. Lula and Grandma and Sally were onstage in front of us.”

  Stephanie Plum

• “Grandma and Lula were wearing black leather hot pants and ice-cream-cone bras. Grandma looked like a soup chicken dressed up like Madonna. She was all slack skin and knobbly knees and slightly bowed legs. Her blond wig was slightly askew, and her ice-cream-cone bra hung low, not from the weight of her breasts but from breast location. Gravity had not been kind to Grandma. Lula's body spilled out of her outfit. The hot pants were reduced to black leather camel-toes in front and what looked like a leather thong in the rear. And the ice-cream-cone bra precariously perched at the end of Lula's basketball breasts.”

  Stephanie Plum

• “Lula and Grandma went into their dance routine and Morelli broke out in a sweat from the effort of maintaining composure. Grandma wobbled into an amp, snagged her heel on the cord, and fell over into the drum set, taking the bass player down with her. She was on her back, under cymbals and the bass player, with only her platform shoes showing. She looked like the Wicked Witch of the East when Dorothy's house fell on her.”

  Stephanie Plum

• “Look at me. I'm a loser. And now everybody's going to know I'm a pervert. I'm a pervert loser. And I have a big herpes. I'm a pervert loser with a herpes!”

  Melvin

• “Pretty soon they're going to start yelling 'jump'. The human race is lacking. Have you noticed?”

  Melvin

• “Pick one, for crying out loud, How many times in life do you get offered a free dildo?”

  Lula

• “You can entrust your loved ones tia funeral parlor that takes the time to use doilies.”

  Grandma Mazur

• “How's that for a partner act? I'd go in there for you. I'd walk on fire for you. O'd bitch-slap the devil for you.”

  Lula

• “And the third thing is, Tank don't need to talk because he was right about being big. Its like wrestling a prehistoric monster. Like having a go at King Kong.”

  Lula

• “And the FBI probably had a heliopter flying around with infrared equipment keeping watch on my every move. I stuck my head out the window and looked up at the sky. No helicopter. Cheap-ass FBI.”

  Stephanie Plum

• Popular Highlights from Kindle Customers

• “I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble.”

  Highlighted by 23 Kindle customers

• Sometimes you just can’t tell what’s on the inside from looking at the outside. Sometimes people are a big surprise, just like the salt cake. Sometimes the surprise turns out to be good. And sometimes the surprise turns out to be bad. And sometimes the surprise is just friggin’ confusing.

  Highlighted by 12 Kindle customers

• “My name is Carmen Manoso,” she said. “I’m Ranger’s wife.”

  Highlighted by 12 Kindle customers

• I’m not emotionally distanced from you. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you because I was using you to find someone . . . even if that someone was my daughter. So I have to make every effort to keep you safe.”

  Highlighted by 11 Kindle customers

• It was really scary at first, but terror is a strange thing. It’s such a strong emotion it can’t sustain itself. After a while a numbness sets in, and the terror starts to feel normal. And that’s a good thing because it allows you to function.”

  Highlighted by 10 Kindle customers

• Jersey’s always fuckin’ ready for anything. Especially if it’s hairy and in a thong.

  Highlighted by 10 Kindle customers

• “If he was in here any longer, the chocolate would have melted off the eclairs.”

  Highlighted by 8 Kindle customers

• How can you completely appreciate the Jersey shore if the air is safe to breathe in the interior parts of the state?

  Highlighted by 8 Kindle customers

• Grandma bent to plug the amp back in and farted in the black leather hot pants. “Oops,” Grandma said. “Someone step on a duck?” She farted again. “Broccoli in the salad,” she said. “Boy, I feel a lot better now.”

  Highlighted by 7 Kindle customers

• One mark on the tally for Ranger. Employees available for valet parking. On the Morelli side was hates salad.

  Highlighted by 6 Kindle customers

Setting & Locations edit see section history

• Virginia
• Miami
• Trenton
• Burg
• Jersey
• Arlington
• Springfield
• Florida

Organizations edit see section history

• FBI: Add a description of this organization.
• Police

First Sentence edit see section history

Series & Lists edit see section history

Preceded by Eleven on Top, and followed by Lean Mean Thirteen.

Authors & Contributors edit see section history

1. Janet Evanovich (Author)

First Edition edit see section history

Awards edit see section history

• Quill Award (2006: Mystery/Suspense/Thriller)

Classification edit see section history

• Library of Congress: Add the Library of Congress Classification.
• Dewey: 813.54

Notes for Parents edit see section history

Add a note to help parents select a book for a child.

Subjects edit see section history

• Books › Mystery & Thrillers › Authors, A-Z › ( E ) › Evanovich, Janet
• Books › Mystery & Thrillers › Mystery › Women Sleuths
• Books › Literature & Fiction › Contemporary

Books with Additional Background Information edit see section history