The Silence By: Sara Spencer
You're stuck in my head to the point of no return.
I talk to you all the time,
hoping for concern.
You light up my day when you're around,
and when you're not I don't make a sound.
When I'm with you, you make my worries go away,
then when you're gone,
again, I have nothing to say.
I can't control my feelings though I wish I could.
I hate myself for saying no even though I should.
You're amazing,
yes, you're my craving and you always know just what to say.
You're understanding,
and not demanding so I feel comfortable and safe.
There's this part of my mind, there's this place...
where I dream, where I go off into space.
You're always therewith open arms to catch when I fall.
You always smile and say hi when I pass you in the hall.
These pages absorb my tears that with my fears shall fall,
then you come along and it all just disappears.
I dream about you in my arms,
then when i wake up i feel the pain from the emptiness.
My head is now bleeding,
with it, my hopes are now receding.
I don't know what to do,
I don't know what to say...
what i do know is that i love you every second of everyday.
I lay in silence in my bed at night,
then have all of these thoughts of you i have to fight.
I always end up crying as i watch myself dying a little more all the time.
At any moment, on any day i would give you my heart on a dime.
I can't express how i feel in words,
but i can tell you that its all just absurd.
I want so badly to give you my heart,
but it would never work i knew from the start.
I could write every second of the rest of my life and still have more to say,
but i have no breath to speak at the end of the day.
I won't let you down,
I swear this I mean it.
I hate myself so much,
I wish i could beat it.
Something about you makes me a better person.
So now, without you, that makes me worst, then.
I don't know if I will ever make this right.
I'm just so broken by the bitterness of loneliness.
Have you even noticed that I never stopped wearing your bracelet?
Every night I see it on my arm and embrace it.
I hate to think that love never lasts,
if only you could prepare for the past.
I'll keep putting on my mask for you,
and, yes, I'll keep coming back to you.
I'll pretend I'm happy everyday,
in hopes that maybe you and i will be okay.
I want to talk to you the way we did when we were dating.
Without your touch I'll continually keep fading.
I'll keep laying in my bed just to see your face,
and we'll stay friends forever like were tied with lace.
I know it will leave me miserable,
it's sad, my pain is visible.
Yet, I will keep laying in the cold, deafening silence.
*LoVe JaR oF hEaRtS!*
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