This is just the happiest car in the world! I shall call it Oliver! ... Not that we'd ever name a car on Top Gear..... I wish I hadn't said that....
--Richard Hammond Richard: (voiceover) "We were having fun, but then we discovered we were travelling with Bill Oddie"..... Why have you got a pen?
Jeremy: It’s to tick them off when you've seen them! Horn Bill, Southern Yellow Bill; let’s have a look at your car.......ITS MASSIIIIIIIVE!!!!
Richard: Don’t knock Oliver!...I mean don’t knock my car, That’s a fine... he's a fine...
James: What did you call it then?
Richard: em.... Oliver’s a friend of mine and I thought he was talking about him...
James: HE’S GIVEN IT A NAME!!
James: "Can I just say, you(indicating Richard)look like a gay cowboy, and you(indicating Jeremy) look like a gay terrorist."
Jeremy: "You look like a terrorist with a broken windscreen wiper and your face is ridiculous."
Jeremy: Look! It's a Hippo's head!
James: Well, it's probably a whole hippo just its body is under the water.
http://www.topgear.com/us/videos/more/botswana-or-bust
[[James May plays sad music on keyboard]]
Jeremy: It’s a story really of a young chap who went to Africa and fell in love with a 43 year old Opal Cadet called Oliver and they would sit for many hours under the stars telling each other they had eyes like pools of mud and now he's decided to ship him.. it, ship IT home...
I've always said that if my children buy a bike, I'll burn it. If they replace it with another one, I'll burn that one too. Now when they buy a bike, I'll completely understand...and then burn it.
--Jeremy ClarksonYou cannot even begin to comprehend the bounds of my forthcoming genius...
--James May Jeremy Clarkson: “I can guarantee you that won’t stop the Mini, partly because that isn't substantial enough and mostly because you've built your wall on this slope and the Mini’s coming down that one ha-ha, did nobody tell you?"
Hammond: "Obviously not because I’d of built it over there!
Now the interesting thing about this car is that under the bonnet it doesn't have an engine. What you get instead is a small field mouse called Gerald. And if Gerald runs round his wheel really very, very, fast, you’ll get from nought to 60 in 18 seconds!
--Jeremy Clarkson(on the phone with emergency services)
Yes, I am going to be eaten by dogs...and I am a pregnant woman and I am all on my own.
--Jeremy Clarkson Jeremy: Men of the D5481, this is our darkest hour. We will not allow Adolf Hammond to ruin our plans for this great, this wonderful, this mag-
(James throws his hard hat at Jeremy)
James: SHUT UP
Jeremy: Gravity is a cruel and unpredictable mistress.
James: No it isn't. It’s a constant all over the world.
Jeremy: Don't give the money directly to children; they might spend it on something like jelly.
Hamster: Or sweets.
James: Or cheese.
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