“I like this book, and understand its content, but books like this make me upset. It seems that alot of women value marriage and all these "man catching" books encourages the the thought that if he never proposes, it isn't a serious relationship worthy of "the next level." That's some serious BS. In a world of 20 million divorces per day, gays and lesbians CAN'T marry, polygamory runs rampant, annulments because of drunken marriages just pour like water - why are people putting emphasis on marriage anymore? Is it not apparent that marriage is just simply outdated? People live together; with children; and unmarried. They are no less important because they lack a piece of government paper that tells them what they already know - we love each other and want a family and life together.
I don't like that the author suggests playing games with men. That's just cruel and pointless. Mostly all my friends are guys. They say women who play "hot and cold" games are not attractive at all. Either she likes me - or she don't. Pick one.
The author confused me saying that you should hold off on sex because it's classier and says to him you have self respect. But then she says that men feel a relationship without sex means no love, trust, and connection. So which one? Sleep with my man - or not? And why can't I be enthusiastic about sleeping with my man when we get down for the first time? The author says don't be eager to sleep with your own man cause you'll seem like a horndog. What if I am horny and want to sleep with my own boyfriend but its only been like, a month? Wait two more months then slowly seduce him till he feels HE did the seducing? Talk about making women feel subserviant just to keep our self respect.
Another problem I have with books like this and just advice people hand to you is self esteem. Everyone says 'love yourself first before anyone else can love you.' I HATE HATE HATE that stupid saying! Yes, I have serious low self esteem up the wazoo but people say that crap without knowing what its like to not know exactly how to better yourself FOR YOURSELF. How do you make your self esteem go up? And once you do it, then you can find someone. Maybe I want to be better so I can stop going through life wanting to be saved from my life because I feel it sucks so much. I'm tired of feeling unattractive and stupid and undeserving of someone. Therefore, I do things I like to do - by myself - and celebrate myself. That's how you start the self esteem healing process. I've put dating and marriage and all that stuff behind me and concentrate on getting the PH.D I always wanted. Starting the bookstore I always wanted. Planning for all the things I'll own. Deciding to take up hobbies I always wanted to take up but was always chasing some guy or my so called " friends" around to bother. Getting quotes for artificial insemination. Getting back into therapy. And having adult movies for the times I feel most vunerable. AND I DO ALL THIS KNOWING AND EXPECTING TO NEVER FALL FOR ANYBODY AGAIN. ITS NOT WORTH MY SANITY ANYMORE. These things are to make me happy for myself. Damn anybody taking my self worth from me again. That's how I started my healing process. But every process is different. People who give you advice and books like this don't tell you that truth because the "way to do it" is get self esteem to find a man, get married, have babies, and "live happily ever after."
The fact of the matter is, if you have low self esteem like me; YOU PROBABLY NEED TO REALIZE LIKE I DID THAT YOU DON'T NEED ANYBODY. People with high self esteem need someone to keep that esteem going. Otherwise they'll end up like me - and NOBODY REALLY WANTS to be alone. BUT PEOPLE WITH LOW SELF ESTEEM LIKE ME NEED TO BE ALONE. Like the book says, nobody wants to take care of a sad little girl who crumbles like a cracker at every turn. So people with low self esteem never find someone to fill that void because once they feel better about themselves, they either stay single and be financially successful, or be gay and financially successful. They find out that getting better for THEMSELVES opened new doors instead of the doors society pushes you through since birth: get high self esteem to be better enough to catch a husband and produce offspring. Better yourself FOR YOURSELF ONLY.
All in all, its a funny and enlightening read, BUT ALL MEN DO NOT THINK OR BEHAVE LIKE THIS. This book shouldn't be the primary tool you use to "catch a man." No book should be actually. If you like someone, ask them out and date them! Stop worrying about timelines for marriage and if your serious now after sex and knowing his schedule and knowing what to say - when to say it - and how to say it. Just have fun and companionship and discover what YOU really want as the ultimate goal out of it - not what society or your friends or family wants for you.”
