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Wiles was born Deborah Marie Edwards in Mobile, Alabama, the daughter of Marie (née Kilgore) and Thomas Paulette Edwards, Jr., an air force pilot from Jasper County, Mississippi. Wiles' mother was from West Point, Mississippi, where she was a champion softball and basketball player. She was a stenographer working at Brookley Field in Mobile when she met her future husband on a blind date. They were married for 52 years. Wiles was their eldest child, followed by a brother, Michael (1954) and a sister, Cathy (1959). Wiles' father was transferred to Hickam AFB, and the family moved to Hawaii when Wiles was five. She started kindergarten at Pearl Harbor Elementary School. She wrote about her Hawaii memories in her first novel, Love, Ruby Lavender.
In 1961, Wiles's father was transferred to Andrews Air Force Base outside Washington, D.C., where he was a special missions pilot and also served as chief of safety for the 89th Airlift Wing. The family would stay in the D.C. area for seven years. Wiles attended Camp Springs Elementary School in Camp Springs, and Roger B. Taney Jr. High School (now Thurgood Marshall Middle School) in Temple Hills, Maryland. This setting is the backdrop for Wiles' 2010 documentary novel Countdown, which takes place in 1962 during the Cuban Missile Crisis.
In 1968 the family moved to Charleston, South Carolina, where Wiles attended St. Andrews Parish High School, and then to Clark AFB in the Philippines, where Wiles graduated high school at Wagner High School, in 1971. She then flew back to the States for College, and attended Jones County Junior College, in Ellisville, Mississippi, until she married a fellow student and moved to the Washington, D.C. area once again.
Today she lives in Atlanta, Georgia. She has four children and is married to Jim Pearce, a jazz musician. She received her MFA in writing from Vermont College in 2003. She taught "Writing Technique for Teachers" at Towson University, and has taught in MFA programs at Vermont College, and Lesley University